Following up on my note a few days ago, I wanted to share a specific tool that helps break the "Zero-Sum" mindset we discussed.

It was Thanksgiving recently in the US. While the sentiment is beautiful, as a scientist at heart, I’ve always been interested in what is actually happening "under the bonnet" (i.e. in our brains) when we practise gratitude.

I have been writing about this on LinkedIn over the past two weeks (you can catch up on the discussion Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4), but I wanted to give you the deeper scientific context.

I recently listened to a deep dive by neuroscientist Dr Andrew Huberman regarding the “Science of Gratitude.” His conclusions were surprising, and they map profoundly onto the work I have been doing for my upcoming book, The Zero-Sum Illusion.

The headline? The most potent effects of gratitude - the shifts in neurochemistry that reduce anxiety and inflammation - don’t come primarily from giving thanks. They come from receiving it, or perhaps more importantly (since we can't engineer thanks when we want it), also from recalling a time when we were thanked.

Here is how we can apply this science using the Me, Them, Us framework from my book.

1. Me: The Data-Driven Resilience In The Zero-Sum Illusion, I write about the “Flawed Storyteller” - that inner voice that catastrophises and tells us we are failing. This storyteller thrives on ambiguity.

Huberman’s research suggests that recalling a specific moment when someone thanked you activates the medial prefrontal cortex -an area associated with social connection and self-value.

The Practice: When you feel the inner critic rising, do not try to fight it with vague positive affirmations. Instead, pause and replay a “highlight reel” of a moment you were genuinely appreciated. This isn’t ego-stroking; it is data collection. You are providing your brain with hard evidence of your contribution.

2. Them: Dismantling the Phantoms We often view those we disagree with as “Phantoms” - distorted caricatures created by our own biases. We assume they are selfish or uncaring.

The science shows that our pro-social neural circuits light up even when we just witness gratitude between two other people. It is hard to view someone as a monster when you see them acting with kindness or being thanked by others.

The Practice: If you are struggling with a difficult colleague, try to find the “gratitude trace” in their life. Who is thanking them? Acknowledging that they are someone else’s hero creates a crack in the Phantom’s armour.

3. Us: The Thermostat Leader Finally, how do we build a culture of “Us”?

In the book, I distinguish between a “thermometer” (which reflects the room’s stress) and a “thermostat” (which sets the temperature). Huberman emphasises that for gratitude to work, it cannot be a slogan. It must be a narrative.

The Tool: The 3-Part Narrative To change the temperature of your team, try using this structure:​The Action: “I want to thank you for [Specific Task]…”The Cost: “…I know it cost you [Time/Effort/Sacrifice]…”The Impact: “…and because you did that, [Positive Outcome for the Team].”

By acknowledging the cost, you validate their effort. By stating the impact, you confirm their belonging.

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Becoming a Bridge-Builder

This "Science of Gratitude" is just one small part of the research I have been putting into the writing of the book.

As a subscriber to this newsletter, you are already part of the journey. But next week, I am going to invite you to take a more active role.

I am finalizing a set of exclusive bundles for those who want to support the book early. I call this Bridge-Builder Access.

It is my way of gathering the core community before the public launch in 2026. This access will include:

• Your Name in Ink: Printed in the Acknowledgements section of the book.
• Launch Party Passes: Invites to join me in London or virtually.
• First Edition: Signed and embossed copies that won't be available later.I will be signing and numbering each Bridge-Builder edition myself. This is just a mock-up: the book is not finished yet!

Next Tuesday, I will send you the link to the campaign page.

Until then, try the "3-Part Narrative" with your family, group or team and see if the temperature changes. I'd love to hear from you, so let me know how it goes!

Best wishes Grant

P.S. I’d love to speak to you. I'm currently scheduling short (15-minute) conversations with professionals to test these concepts against reality. If you’d be open to sharing your perspective over a virtual coffee this week, please just reply to me (just write "chat" if you wish) and I’ll set it up.

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